I was recently hurt by some sharp and careless words by someone I dearly love and respect. They came as a reflex reaction to my “constructive criticism”. I was shocked and deeply wounded by the words. I immediately withdrew myself emotionally and physically and began to draw into myself, feeling I could not trust this person with my feelings any longer. I wrestled with God all week long, trying desperately to hear His voice. I shared a portion of the event with another dear friend who is always there to listen, offer comfort, and pray for me. But I really wanted to hear from God directly this time. I have been on a roller coaster ride of emotions over the years and in trying to protect myself from hurt, I have isolated myself and only ended up further from where the Lord wanted me to be. So I kept quiet and continued in prayer.
I get a lot of email every day, and since I’ve had my job I have not had time to read much of it and have been deleting everything that is not a personal letter to me. One of the emails I’ve been deleting is my daily devotional called Encouragement For Today, from the Proverbs 31 Woman website. Good stuff for sure, but I have just been so busy and can’t catch up to myself these days.
Anyway, a few days ago I signed into email and there was my daily devotional again. I had just finished deleting a bunch of other emails and decided that I had enough time to read just this one. And am I glad I did. It was GOD speaking directly to me! Oh how I would have hated missing hearing His voice, since it is just what I have been praying to hear. The message spoke so clearly to me, that I immediately decided to offer mercy and grace to the person who hurt me. And now I want to share the devotional with you. I’m not sure how long it will remain on their website, so I will copy and paste it here for all to be blessed by as I was. I pray it speaks to where you are today.
| February 24, 2012 |
“Haughtiness goes before destruction; humility precedes honor.” Proverbs 18:12 (NLT)
Marriages were often arranged in Abigail’s era, and I wonder if this was true of hers. On paper her husband Nabal seemed like a “catch.” He was wealthy, a good provider, and he liked to have fun and throw parties. But behind the scenes his self-control and integrity was seriously lacking, causing those closest to him to suffer.
Here is what we know about Abigail’s husband Nabal from the Bible in 1 Samuel chapter 25:1-41.
He is wealthy — that’s partly due to David’s protection of his land and flocks. (vv. 2, 7-8)
He’s crude, and mean in all his dealings. (vs. 3)
He sneers at guests who come in peace, and questions their character. (vv. 10-11)
He shouts insults. (vs.14)
He’s stingy, not returning favors or repaying kindnesses showed him. (vv. 16, 21)
He is so temperamental that people dread talking to him. (vs. 17)
He thinks more highly of himself than he ought. (vs. 36)
He drinks too much. (vv. 36-37)
Basically, Nabal was a self-centered, ill-mannered guy who didn’t recognize God’s provision or blessings in his life. And if you read his story, you’ll see he was foolish enough to insult the most powerful man around (King David) but more importantly, he was foolish enough to insult the one true God.
God let Nabal face the ultimate consequence of his character — death (vv. 38-39).
Imagine yourself paired up in marriage to such a foolish, arrogant, sharp-tongued man as this. (I hope you have to imagine, and have not lived this.) How would you react towards him? What do you think living with him might do to your personality, or your character?
Might you grow depressed? Would you become withdrawn or timid? Would you nag him to do better? Would you grow bitter, angry and become argumentative back? Or, would you perhaps just “let yourself go” and decide not to care about anything?
Let’s look at Nabal’s wife Abigail, from that same passage in the Bible:
She is smart and sensible. (vs. 3)
People look to her for wisdom and leadership in times of trouble. (vv. 14, 17)
She is decisive and wastes no time worrying, pitying her situation, or fussing at those who cause her trouble — instead she takes action to improve the situation. (vv. 18, 23)
She is generous, (vv. 18, 27) even willing to lay down her life for others. (vv. 22, 24)
She is humble (vv. 24, 41) and quick to ask forgiveness. (vs. 28)
She speaks eloquently and tactfully — with a knowledge of God — as she gives one of the longest speeches by a woman recorded in the Bible. (vv. 24-31)
She looks out for the well-being and reputation of others — even Nabal’s. (vv. 25, 31)
She trusts God, holds her tongue, and waits patiently for the right timing. (vv. 36-38)
Abigail has always been one of my favorite women in the Bible. She has it all — wisdom, character, courage, faith, eloquence, graciousness. She possesses both inner and outer beauty. But her life with this man Nabal was no picnic, and that’s really why I admire her.
How many times did Nabal get drunk and say or do something demeaning to her? Yet she chose not to let her spirit die. How many times did she wish for revenge, though not seek it? How many times did he berate her, yet she wasn’t paralyzed by his insults?
How many times did his foolishness cost her greatly, or those she cared about? Yet she chose not to count the costs to herself when she put her life on the line to spare his life and the other men’s.
Abigail’s praiseworthy character ran deep, which tells me her reverence of God did as well.
After Nabal’s death, she married King David and they had a son. David would have seven other wives in his lifetime, but only Abigail earned his complete respect. Only she had a positive influence on him.
Abigail challenges me to choose differently — to be humble, wise and courageous. Her example teaches me that I can choose how I will allow my circumstances to shape my character. While Nabal’s life clearly shows that haughtiness goes before destruction, Abigail’s shows that choosing humility and wisdom allows God to shape my character and my circumstances. And it makes room for God to be glorified in both.
Dear Lord, today I humble myself before You. I confess my sins and ask You to help me develop and display the same wisdom and character as Abigail. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Related Resources:
If you enjoyed this devotion, you’ll want to get a copy of Rachel’s book It’s No Secret: Revealing Divine Truths Every Woman Should Know.
The One Year Women of the Bible: Then and Now Reflections on Women of the Bible and Women Today
Visit Rachel’s blog for more encouragement.
When you purchase resources through Proverbs 31 Ministries, you touch eternity because your purchase supports the many areas of hope-giving ministry we provide at no cost. We simply can’t compete with prices offered by huge online warehouses. Therefore, we are extremely grateful for each and every purchase you make with us. Thank you!
Reflect and Respond:
Do your words and actions typically reflect haughtiness or humility?
Who is your “Nabal”? A boss? A parent? Your own sin-nature that combats your spirit?
In what circumstance or relationship can you choose wisdom, humility and courage this week?
Power Verses:
Proverbs 31:26, “She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.” (NIV)
Proverbs 15:33, “The fear of the Lord teaches a man wisdom; and humility comes before honor.” (NIV 1984)
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I sure hope that spoke to your heart. We can all use a little Mercy and Grace!
God Bless!
~ Cheryl
